Where I Am

This pretty much summarizes where I am right now…

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Hope in Laments

 This I recall to my mind, 
Therefore I have hope. 
The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, 
For His compassions never fail. 
They are new every morning; 
Great is Your faithfulness. 
The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, 
“Therefore I have hope in Him.” 
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, 
To the person who seeks Him. 
It is good that he waits silently 
For the salvation of the LORD. 

The prophet Jeremiah

Resting in a Moment

The other night I tried to take a moment of silence and drink tea. I didn’t realize how difficult that would be. As I try to go to sleep recently, my mind races…most times trying to process the ten things I did not get done today…or yesterday…or the day before. And I now try to interrupt that busy-ness (when I have the moment) with a newly instituted practice of silence and solitude.

Reflection.

Meditation.

Breathing.

My body fights this practice tooth and nail. As I focus on my breath, feeling it flutter over my lips, and try to smell the bitter mint softened by honey in my tea, I must force myself to focus on that which I would normally ignore. I have to slow down, resisting the urge to get up and finish, fix, or finalize.

Breathing deeply in…pause…breathing slowly out.

Changing the pace from rush and do to sit and calm. My busy-ness throbs and reaches for my focus as I attempt to ignore the ever-growing List.

It cannot consume me in this moment.

But I as I continue, as I persevere through the fight, I am humbled again. I am refreshed. Twenty minutes of tea, breathing in and out the Psalms, I am rested and reminded:

There is a Shepherd who longs for his wandering sheep to rest again.

 1 The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
6Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23