Prayer of St. Francis


Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
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Hand? Hand?

Recently, Ephrem has asked to hold our hands during dinner. He looks at us and says “Hand?” until he has our hands holding his. He sits there silently for a moment and then says, “Amen!” and lets our hands go.

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I never imagined that our 18-month-old would pick up on prayer like that. Honestly, it’s not like we go out of way to pray but I guess he sees that it’s important to our family and it’s something that he mimics.

Even when we are shopping with him in Target. And who can say no to an impromptu prayer session no matter where you are?

This one thing

Sorry for the silence, folks. I’m still trying to adjust to this world with bottles, baby food, diapers, nap time, pterodactyl happy or unhappy screaming….and now work as I return intermittently for the remainder of my FMLA leave.

I’ve been seeking God about new directions, the desires of my heart, and His timing. These types of seasons are so hard. Though I plead with God for what I want, I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know how things will work out. I simply continue to sit and wait, hoping that He will answer me, that He will continue to be faithful to my requests.

I’m sure this post is vague and you might be thinking, what is she asking for? Without sharing too much publicly, I’m asking God to continue to fill the desires of my heart. Although I have specifically asked for two things, I am praying this one thing:

That God would give me His will.

This point was underscored during the message at church on Sunday about prayer. I am making my request of what I do want and hope will be His will, but ultimately I want to have His perfect will accomplished in my life. What that looks like, I’m not sure right now. Until I hear otherwise, I think it means continuing to be where we are.

I never thought the words of the “Lord’s Prayer” to be painful, until I realized what those words require of me: humility, faith, forgiveness, repentance, and an understanding that I do not, in fact, know what’s best for me. Those words are not merely words any longer. They are a reminder to live for a God who is holy, sovereign, provision, forgiving, and faithful.

Whatever I think I want I for my life, He clearly knows better. He is a Father who gives good gifts. The Creator of the world who, in His goodness, created all things, will certainly guide us in the very best path for our lives as the Shows family.

Yes, Lord, “Thy will be done.”
Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Matthew 6:9-13

Thinking about You, Baby Shows

So my body is revolting has decided that 5:00 A.M. is the time it should be up all days, not just days for work. Awesome. And by awesome I mean, blerg. This girl loves her sleep, as only someone who has had insomnia would.

Oh well.

What has happened the last couple days is that I look at my phone and see the time in Africa and just start praying for Baby Shows. Prayers with words. Prayers of my heart. Prayers that only God knows. I am praying for my sweet, sweet little one around the world.

This early morning, I am praying 1 Corinthians 13 for him – that he would know and live a love like that, that we would love this way as a family:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Baby Shows, the countdown is on. We are waiting for you to be home.