I read this quote recently:
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
I’ve been challenged by that quote for a little over a week. It’s not so much the “doing” part. It’s the “where” part. Because sometimes where we are isn’t where we think we should be. It isn’t maybe where we want to be.
Honestly, I’ve struggled a lot with the “where” part of my life because I didn’t expect to be “here” when Ephrem came home – “here” as a mother who works outside of the home to provide financially for her family. I didn’t expect to be an employed mom, because my idea of “where” was at home, being a full-time at-home mom. We had planned for me to be his mommy at home. When the adoption hit warp speed and it was clear that I wasn’t going to be a stay-at-home mom like I had envisioned, I was tripped up. Because it didn’t fit my plan.
And then I remembered a conversation I once had with a co-worker a couple of years ago. Before Evan and I became parents or had really talked about becoming parents, my sweet friend was missing her young son while she and I were at work. She returned to work once her maternity leave ended and worked long hours in our very demanding job. She had tears in her eyes as she shared with me what was probably one of the most profound pieces of unintentional advice I’ve ever needed, “Sometimes, caring for your child means that you work and someone else watches him all day. And it’s hard, but that’s what you do to take care of your child.” I don’t think my friend knew how much I would come to lean on those words in this season.
This “where” is yet another opportunity to learn to yield, to allow God to have His will in my life, to be obedient despite the feeling that I know best (clearly I don’t). I am striving to rely on God to do what I can, with what I have (time, energy, focus), where I am (at home or work). When I’m home that means being completely available to my family and being a mommy. When I’m at work that means being diligent to work hard as a grant writer. I might not have planned to be here, but God has a bigger purpose, more refined plan, and better vision for this employed momma. He knows the desires of my heart, but I have to trust Him that in this season, we are all exactly where we need to be.