I was waiting for a doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago. And before I begin this little story, I should make a disclaimer: I’m a bad wait-er. I’m not patient and I hate being in waiting rooms. Just the name alone puts me on edge. Moreover, this particular doctor is usually running behind unless you get an 8:00 or 8:30 AM appointment. So, for my 9:30 appointment, I waited. People arrived after me, and went back. I waited. The nurse came out and called a name that was not mine. And I waited. My Kindle’s battery died. I waited. And 50 minutes into the wait, I started to think, Did they forget me? What if they have forgotten me?
And now I realize that statement has significance beyond that little doctor’s waiting room. Because I know that’s how I feel right now, as I wait on God. God, have You forgotten me? Do You remember me, and what You told me?
Even as I have a peace about whatever timing God has for us in this call to adopt, it doesn’t make my heart any more patient to have our own kids in the house. I don’t know how Joseph was able to wait on God, as he saw God paint his beautiful calling into his dreams. I honestly marvel at him recently. As I sit here, six months into this calling, I’m asking God, When? When? (I’m trying to make myself feel better by imagining Joseph also asking those questions, but they weren’t recorded in Genesis…). God hears my little voice, God, have You forgotten me?
Yet I know that, despite how it feels as I see women with bulging bellies or cuddling their babies, God has not forgotten me. His timing is sovereign (whether or not I choose to acknowledge that). What I want so desperately He already has mapped out for me.
But I think God knows the wait is hard. As we wait, we long for reassurance that we are not forgotten. So I’ve been blessed with encouragement from friends:
“Have peace today. Your babies are important to God. Trust He knows how to get them into Evans and your arms.” (R)
“He hasn’t brought y’all this far just to drop you. He is already ahead making a way somewhere, somehow! […]It’s okay to be upset but don’t let your knees get lazy and don’t let your head hang. Keep looking up He is going to go over and beyond anything y’all will be able to imagine! Hang in there, you are going to be a fabulous Momma and God is going to make up for the “lost” time.” (C)
“Something else in the works here…
Greater than you can imagine.
That ‘exceeding abundantly’ verse comes to mind, Ephesians?
According to the power at work within us.
Adoption is adventure.
Trust Him.” (L)
When I look up in my little waiting room, I see it. God has surrounded me with friends, who continue to encourage my heart. I don’t think they ever realized that they were carrying part of my heavy, weary heart in those words, but they did.
When people ask why I’m part of a faith community, I can point to this. This journey wasn’t meant to be walked alone.
Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. […] Encourage the fainthearted.
-Paul to the church at Thessalonica (1 Thess 5:11, 14)