day 60.

When it comes down to it, many of us do not really want to be led by the Holy Spirit. Or, more fundamentally, many of us don’t want to be led by anyone other than ourselves. The whole idea of giving up control (or the delusion of it) is terrifying, isn’t it? Do you thrive on controlling the big and small in your life? does the thought of letting go and listening to the Spirit’s guidance scare you and only make you cling tighter to what you think you have?

The truth is that the Spirit of the living God is guaranteed to ask you to go somewhere or do something you wouldn’t normally want or choose to do.

-Francis Chan, Forgotten God, p. 50.

This quote essentially sums up everything I’ve experienced in my life in the last two or so years. The biggest struggle was a tug of war between my flesh and God’s Spirit. He was calling me to be obedient, to give up control, and to follow His calling. I wanted none of it.

Do you know the love of God? I think once I started to begin to comprehend that, it because easier to understand that I should trust Him. It takes a relationship wherein  you learn God’s character, faithfulness, and lovingkindness toward us to begin to trust His control.

It causes us to let go, despite the fear. As Chan continues:

…if you decide you do want to know His will, there will be moments when you have to let go of the fear of what that might mean – when you have to release your grip of control on your life and decide to be led, come what may. (p. 51)

Decide to be led, come what may. It was in this moment when I decided I really was going to let go of my dreams and to follow His calling, that I began to see His clearer. There is surprising freedom in loosening our grip over our lives. I’m still learning what it means to let go, to surrender, and to step away from the controls. I am learning to embrace the unknown because I know my Father all the more.